Bismillah Ir Rahman Ir Rahim

As Salaamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,

I guess I should start off by introducing myself.

My name is Samirah bint Jackie Dean Todd, I reverted back to Islam in July 0f 2001. I was 33 yrs old and a single mother of 2 children. Alhamdulillah since my reversion I have been tested and tried by Allah subhana wa ta’ala, as He promised every believer masha’Allah. After accepting Islam I became ill with Multiple Sclerosis, and both my children were taken from me one by my mother, and the youngest by her father through the court systems. My mother convinced my oldest daughter who was 13 at the time that I was a bad mother and I was in a cult. She eventually convinced her to let my mother adopt her subhan’Allah. My youngest’s father after never being in her life appeared literally out of no where and had the profound interest in his daughter, he literally hadn’t supported nor seen her since she was 2. We ended up in court and the judge being the biased person he was for some reason declared him to be more fit as a parent than I. He disappeared with her.

I havent seen my oldest since 2001 and my youngest since 2003. I accepted what Allah had given me after unsuccessfully trying to contact my children through the courts and on my own. Alhamdulillah on March 21,2008. My oldest child now 19 yrs old contact me. Allah is  Merciful! So long I awaited for this day! We cried, I asked her to forgive me. She told me what was told to her, why I wasnt around subhan’Allah. May Allah Rectify my mothers affairs  and Bring her to Islam amin. My daughter was told that I had abandoned her  auhtu billah, that I wanted nothing of her. She spent the last 7 yrs wondering why I hated her. I apologised to her for her having to be harmed and explained what happened, insha’Allah we can now build back our relationship. She was in touch with her sister, but her father who gave her my number, has changed his number so that she cant speak to her now. So insha’Allah I now have a general idea where she is and now I can continue my search for her.

 You read this and ask yourself why am I writing this and being so candid?

 To bring up the point that Allah is truly in Control of Everything. And He tests those who believe with what is dearest to them.  When Allah gives us these tests, do you ask why me , why this, or just plain why? Allah tells us why, When Allah tests us it is a test for us to draw closer to Him to come to Him for comfort and help. To be patient and accept what is given to us. How many of us do this? or do we break down, blame others. Or do we understand what is really behind what has happened?

We are put on this earth for one purpose to Worship Allah, not for self enjoyment, not for monetary gain. But solely to Worship Him. I truly believe Allah has rewarded me for my patience by Allowing my daughter in my life, for only He decides when the baraka comes for our sabr.  As for my health masha’Allah I have my ups and downs and am being tested for fibromyalgia on top of the ms, but above all this Allah Ta’ala has Blessed me with a wonderful husband , who fears Allah to the best of his ability and is a wonder support for me. I couldnt  nor would I even dare to ask for more. He is truly merciful my husband has been there with me through everything and is prepared to go the long run. Even through all of this I have never regreted my decision of submission to my Rabb. I have hung on to the rope of Allah as tight as I can and Allah willing do not intend of letting go anytime soon.

My reward will be in Allah’s time and I am willing to wait. For this world is only a test.

May Allah ta’ala keep us all on Siraatal Mustaqeem

amin

Your sister in Din

Umm Sabr Samirah bint Jackie Dean todd